This is the time of year when ceremonies are held across the country for graduating college seniors.
Before these new graduates can toss their caps in the air and ride into the sunset with their freshly-minted diplomas, however, they are generally subjected to a commencement speech that encourages them to “follow their dreams” or “follow their bliss.”
This is terrible advice for most 21-year-olds.
Not all… but most.
If you are a graduating senior and your lifelong dream is to become a physician… or an engineer… or an Air Force pilot… or to enter some other skilled profession – and you are on track to do that – more power to you.
But a lot of graduating seniors are like me.
After completing 16 years of formal education, I hadn’t the foggiest idea what I was going to do next.
I earned a Bachelor of Arts from Furman University in Greenville, South Carolina, with majors in Business and Psychology.
(Perfect for analyzing the stock market, although I didn’t know it at the time. Indeed, I don’t think I could have even explained why we have a stock market.)
I had interviewed with a few firms at my college. And we’d quickly come to an agreement.
They didn’t see any value in me, nor I in them.
The idea of moving back home with my parents – though I loved them dearly – was unthinkable. I was too independent for that.
Relying on the government? That was for the folks that then-President Ronald Reagan called “the truly needy.”
I mulled over my limited options. Then it dawned on me…
When I grew up in Virginia, we’d load up the family station wagon every few years and visit relatives in Florida.
At college, I spent spring break every year at some beach in Florida.
And so, with no job skills, connections, or money (aside from what I’d earned working part time in school), I packed my beater car – the stereo was worth more than the vehicle – and drove to Florida to seek my fortune.
I’m sure my parents were proud to tell their friends that after four years of paying out-of-state tuition at a private liberal arts college, their son – the new graduate – was now waiting tables at a Bennigan’s Tavern in Daytona Beach.
I worked a few hours each night – and threw the frisbee with bikini-clad women on the beach all day.
I was a 21-year-old who had followed the age-old commencement-address wisdom.
I had followed my bliss. I was living the dream.
And, of course, going nowhere.
That’s the problem with pursuing your dream, whether you want to be a singer-songwriter, a playwright or a beach bum.
There’s usually no money in it.
After paying the expenses on the crummy apartment I shared with co-workers I really didn’t enjoy living with, there was nothing left.
An empty stomach is a great motivator, however. It concentrates the mind.
And it made clear something that adult children who receive financial aid from their parents are often slow to realize…
It didn’t matter what kind of work I might find personally fulfilling. I had to find someone who needed something done… and was willing to pay me to do it.
That was an essential insight. It’s not about my wants or needs. It’s about serving someone else.
Commencement speeches often note the value of service. But almost always in the context of doing charitable work.
Yet serving others is the key to success in the private sector, too.
The key question most graduating seniors should answer is, “Who needs something done that I can do?”
I’m not suggesting that anyone should selflessly devote their lives to helping other people fulfill their dreams.
But when you’re starting out? Absolutely.
Don’t get me wrong. Certain jobs – and sometimes entire industries – will turn out to be dead ends.
When you recognize that, it’s time for a change.
But once you find something that you’re good at – and that you stick with for a while – you’ll gain knowledge.
You’ll gain experience.
You’ll develop a reputation as someone who can be relied upon to get things done and – if you have a bit of ambition – someone who leads and motivates others, as well.
For most of us, it’s not about doing what we love. It’s about loving what we do.
It’s not about following your dreams. It’s about following your opportunities.
Of course, you can’t possibly see all the opportunities that will arise in advance. Life is too unpredictable for that.
But by showing up every day – and doing what needs to be done – eventually you’ll find yourself in the right place at the right time.
And be able to capitalize on it.
So, graduating seniors, I encourage you not to follow your dreams. Or, at least, not yet.
Get busy… work hard… and follow your opportunities instead.